Night Sky by Lisa Brennan 2002
Like a brilliant star
You entered my life
And in a rushing moment you left
Leaving me in a void of darkness
I stumble through daily tasks
Trying to remember
Had you really been here?
Or was it only a dream?
Proof of your existence
Greet me in threes
Keeping my feet planted
When all they long to do is run away
Standing alone
Rivulets of memories course down my cheeks
I search for hope
I search for you
Looking to heaven
Millions of stars dot the sky
I look for the one that may be you
One solitary star shines brighter than all the rest
This one I choose
To whisper my sadness to.
This week we mark 7 years. Seven years feels like such a shock. The children are no longer 'small children'. In 7 yrs they've grown and matured. I'm told that they are 'used' to our little family. They have adjusted to his absence in a way. While occaisions arise that cause them to miss having a dad, I have seemed to have fulfilled that missing piece for them. I often joke with them that I am "MAD" the mom/dad. I myself accomplished much this year and am still so very grateful for having had Tom a part of my life. He gave me so much.
I sit today wondering about the next 6 months, the next 7 yrs and well, the rest of my life. In May we are supposed to go to court regarding a wrongful death suit. I can only cross my fingers and pray that we will prevail and some worries will settle. Patrick will graduate from High School and hopefully move on to college. I'll graduate from my master's program (MsEd in education with a concentration in literacy k-12) and life will continue to move forward. I think of 7 years and wonder if the old saying 'feeling the 7 yr itch' could apply here. I itch for a life that feels a little more complete and settled. I then wonder if it ever feels that way for anyone. Can you be living a somewhat settled life and still feel incomplete? I'm almost certain you can.
3 comments:
That is absolutely beautiful and yet so sad.
You write wonderfully, I can't live without spell check.
Lets meet next time your in town.
love
mary
Lisa, I'm living about a "settled" life as anyone can imagine, and I'm always searching for what will make it feel "complete" to me. I think, regardless of our circumstances, we're all searching. It's part of our human growing experience. Yours has certainly held a lot more pain than mine has, so far, but you are not alone in that unsettled feeling.
Very well written, Lisa. And, indeed sad. You have a beautiful little family, tho, and that has no doubt made the seven years bearable. Still, seven years goes by so fast, and it takes so long to heal.
I imagine there will be new and different chapters...some perhaps even UNsettling..(in good ways!)..and they will continue the story.
Be well, tom
Post a Comment