Goodbye 2009

“May you have love that never ends, lots of money and lots of friends. Health be yours, whatever you do and may God send many blessings to you.”

Irish Blessing In the past decade... I went back to teaching and worked with moderate special needs children as an educational assistant, worked as a special needs teacher for a year on a waiver, laid off after working thought the district in 4 different schools, got a job as a preschool teacher, a kindergarten teacher and then laid off again. I earned my certificate to teach a specialized reading program and began tutoring and went through an online program that earned me a Master's in Education. I watched my husband take his last breath, grieved the losses we all felt, wiped away many tears from my eyes and those of my children. surpassed his age for the first time when I turned 40, participated in 2 South Shore Circle Bereavement groups, grief counseling and read many books on the subject hoping something would 'cure' me of this profound sadness, then wondered how we got here as I sent my children off to camps for grieving children and learned how to be a family again. I marveled at the growth of my children as they went from elementary school kids to high school and beyond, witnessed many birthdays, lost teeth, learning to read, academic accomplishments and awards, cross overs from cub scouts to boy scouts, cheered at numerous little league baseball, soccer, concerts, plays and wrestling matches for all three children, drove countless miles to games and practices, helped with school projects, watched as one by one they went from elementary school, to middle school and then to high school, cried and cheered as my oldest graduated high school and then cried again after dropping him off at his college dorm, survived first dates and girlfriends, gained gray hairs teaching sons to drive and braved a new life of taking the kids on vacations to Washington DC, Cape Cod and New York. I've shoveled snow, cleaned up after guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, hamsters, cats, chickens and dogs, learned to fix numerous small things around the house, dealt with frozen pipes, leaking sewage, broken toilets, windows and doors, painted rooms, redecorated and remodeled this antique home that was a dream of my husband's, I've gained many new friends, kept my closest friends, lost 50lbs, gained it all back and look forward to gaining back that motivation and desire to be that person again. The past decade has been a very busy one and not always filled with the happiest of moments but that is what makes life what it is. I came into this decade secure in who I was, only to have the rug ripped out from under me.. I've gained much and learned much in the past decade and know that I am not the person I once was. This night I will send up wishes for peace of mind and heart and success in what we hope to attain as we strive forward. I send up these wishes not only for myself and children, but also for my extended families and friends. Happy New Year!