Goodbye Friend

As a little boy, our friend Richard had the job of tending his family's goat herd. He told us he would get up, take the goats to a field and sit with them while they grazed. His job was to keep them safe from harm. His job was to scare off lions and other hungry beasts that would love to have a tasty goat for supper. Richard was 8 yrs old.

Once he told my children that when he took his goats out, he was confronted by a hungry lion. He was very scared and climbed a tree to save himself. The lion got one of the goats and ate it. He told my children that when he got home his grandfather was angry with him and switched him. The goats were their lively hood. My children loved that story.

This past Friday, we got a call from my best friend Paula, Richard's wife. Richard suffered a heart attack at work and died. Our reactions went from shock to tears. We have gathered with our friends and shared loving hugs and handed round tissues for the tears we've shed with one another.

I met Richard when I befriended his wife Paula back in 1993. We both had two boys who became good friends and remain so to this day. Meri came along and soon would be known as "Queenie" in this small circle. Out of my 3 children, I believe Meri had the closest relationship with Richard. She loved him very much and I believe the feeling was mutual. When Tom died, Paula was my anchor always there with a hug or wise words to help. Richard would take the kids to the movies or babysit. These friends became more like family to us. Richard would often tease Meri telling her that when she went on her first date, he would be there with a baseball bat to greet the young man! When she heard of Richard's death, Meri made mention of that.... Richard's sons told her not to worry, they will be there along with her two big brothers.

This week we will celebrate Richard's life, the life he lived as a young African boy and the life he came to love here as an American citizen. We will also hold and support Paula, Richie and Matthew as they walk along the path of grief we have known so intimately.

My children and I will miss his stories, wise cracks, and tidbits of wisdom...but mostly we will miss his wonderful hugs and his friendship.